indian railways:har safar me magic!!

As the train left the station, me and my friends after a hectic 3-day visit to berhampur began settling down at the topmost tier........the compartment was brimming with people of all classes......and since it was late night nobody cared making any remarks as generally happens in a train. Just when i was about to close my eyes to a dream of lullaby i was pulled back to life by a gentleman with a loudspeaker-like voice.....he was probably in mid-40s with ruffled hair and a white shirt dipped in brown dust......he was literally shouting-“mui enu basithili”(sambalpuri)........to which the man sitting on the seat was not responding.......he once again shouted at the top of his voice which probably made the man notice him this time.......he looked at the man in white shirt and gave him a puzzled look and said-“mousa kana hela??”...........

so, there i was sitting in a train where two parts of odisha were trying to communicate over the matter of seat occupancy. Since i happen to know a bit of sambalpuri-accent(thanks to my sambalpuri friends at hostel) i stepped in and did the needful. Soon the thunderous uncle melted down and to my surprise mr.sambalpuri and mr.cuttacki were having a fruitful discussion over family matters in not-so-fluent hindi.

after some time the train stopped at some station (i was too lazy to come down and look at what station it was) and there boarded another gentleman. He took his seat by the side of mr.sambalpuri and asked mr.cuttacki “agyan kuuade parjanta jiba ki he??” .....its not possible to describe the accent over here but it invited puzzled looks from both the uncles sitting there.

so here was a certain mr.berhampuri who was on board with mr.sambalpuri and mr.cuttacki.  Mr.cuttacki initiated a hindi conversation with mr.berhampuri and soon all three of them were having a gala time in their not-so-perfect hindi just like they have met again after ages.

We all would have heard and most certainly read about how Indian railways has played the role of unification of india in our history classes. We would even have observed how different states and cities exist symbiotically for a small time in the Indian railways. But what i was witnessing was the micro-mini version of that unification. Every state has some divides......may be on the basis of accents, or dialects, or style of living etc etc......and the state railways was coercing the amalgamation of the divides. The three uncles may not become the best of friends but they did prove one thing.......we may classify ourselves into a hundred categories.....”fir bhi dil hai Hindustani!!”(or in this case “odishi”)

guide to a girl's vocabulary

A physicist can certainly simplify the theory of parallel universe or the theory of relativity for you......a biologist can certainly explain the complex mechanisms of a biological creature to you.......an economics teacher can of course state an intriguing problem of the diabolic economics system in an easy-to-understand way.....but.......none....i repeat....none can ever explain, make easy-to-understand, state, simplify, account, describe, report, distinguish or decipher what goes on in a girl’s ‘emotionally brainiac’ mind!!!

They want a thing, they think the other, they say something else, and they mean none!! Oh yea......welcome to a girl’s mind.....where 2+2 may be 232435423455644534.....(you never know)!! Well, the poor man is many a times the prey of the feigned vocabulary of women. So in this times of great difficulty where global warming is threatening to wipe out the whole human race, where the arms race is blinding the greater notions of sociology in humans, where sheela is getting ”jawan” and munni is getting “badnaam” (sorry chameli.....i decided to go with the originals!!).....the ‘man’kind certainly needs a “girl’s dictionary”-

1-ok.......bye....-if that is said in a falling tone over the phone and your bad luck decides to act such devil as to disconnect the call at that time....then dude, YOU ARE S.C.R.E.W.E.D!! When a girl says so in a sad voice she means-“talk to me damn it else i am gonna kill you!!”.

2-nayyyy.....it was my fault- and if you ever agree to it what you face next shall be worse than the atom bomb dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Never ever agree that it was her fault......what she actually means is-“you better apologise fast !!”

3-how do i look??- Your only option is to declare that even if Cinderella would have existed, she would have beaten her to the title of miss universe. She does ask for an opinion but she takes only one answer. If you want to be doomed then you may take the risk of vying your other options. Best of luckJ

4-we are just friends- it’s almost an age-old saying!! The Bollywood has repeatedly proved this fact deceptive. Starting from the yesteryear movies like “kuch kuch hota hai” to the recent movie “jane tu ya jane naa” to the even recent movie “mujhse fraandship karoge”.....this genre of Bollywood has sternly established the fact that-‘a guy and a girl can never be the best of friends’. So, next time you happen to hear it from a girl......take your chances....

5-so what’s the big deal??- you may have faced an accident and it may not be a big deal.......but even if a girl has only just witnessed an accident and she says it was a big deal then DO NOT oppose her......you would entitle yourself for another horrible accident if you do so!!

6-i just want sometime alone- nope!! She wants you to be with her till she cries her heart out. Girls may be cunning in manipulation but have hearts of 24 carat gold when it comes to dealing with the ones they love. They would never admit that they need you to be there.....you gotta catch the signs....and just be there for your friend J

7-i don’t have a boyfriend- it’s still a mystery as to why a girl generally refuses ‘possessing’ a boyfriend even when she has one. While many girls may disagree.....but that’s the guy verdict i took on this(i personally asked nearly 50 boys!!)

Well, now you have a perfect idea of what to think and what not to do when next time a girl utters any of these phrases.......girls indeed are funny creatures. If you come across any such ”curious case of a girl’s vocabulary” take it as your solemnised duty to share it for the betterment of the ‘man’kind...!!!!