MY DADDY DEAREST

‘I am writing ‘10 life lessons I learnt from my father’ at Parentous.com‘

MY DADDY DEAREST

“I would never tell my kid to do anything like this”, this is what I thought when my dad once forced me to call a receptionist of a hotel and talk to her about some reservations. I was in class 9^th and was a total chicken!!! Now I realise that his disciplinarian attitude has made me better than many of my peers and I would always silently thank him for that. ;-)

So how could I have left off this perfect opportunity to thank him in front of the whole social media? My dad loves quoting his thoughts since he has got a way with words. So here are a few quotes that I would never forget from my daddy dearest.

1.     ““I am the best.” The world won’t even listen to you if you do not believe that you are.”

Believe in yourself is what he wanted to say. It’s the belief that can do wonders to the way you work and how people perceive it. If you of all persons do not believe that you are the best then there is no reason for anyone else to believe in you.

2.     “Everyone is good, unless proved otherwise”-

His job requires him to correctly judge a person and as far as i know, seldom has he failed. In his own words, he just described his simple formula for handling enormous number of people with total ease and complete success.

3.     “once you are in, spend like a king”

This was something he said when I was being hesitant to order a dish in a restaurant owing to its heavy price. He said that once you commit to do something then put all your heart and soul in it. Either do it with all you have or leave it. Straying in the mid way would just leave you frustrated and unhappy.

4.     “Do not change your goal if confronted with failure; change your way to approach the goal.”

He taught me not to be disheartened when faced with a failure, but to learn lessons from it. He fiercely pumped competitiveness among my basic qualities. The “never-say-die” attitude is something I proudly inherit from my father.

5.     “People will come and go, but cherish the relationships which are close to you and hold them tight.”

Being employed in a transferable job, we had to travel to quite a few places. As a teenager I always hated changing schools and friend circles, but my father taught me that change is the only constant in life. The only thing one can do is to find relations which would be worth cherishing for a lifetime. Today I have a few friends almost everywhere I lived and all of those relationships constitute my second family!!

6.     “Never ever expect anything from anyone.”

This was one of the most important lessons I learnt from my father. These were one of his favourite lines and he strictly adhered by this. He inspired me to give my best in everything and not to expect anything in return. He said that the universe has its own curious ways of giving back what you deserve. Patience is a virtue I learnt by following this in my life.

7.     “First impressions should never last long.”

Contrary to the popular phrase “first impressions last long”; my father was from the school of thought that first impressions should never cloud your judgement of a person. On certain occasions he would even demonstrated me this very fact. I realised late in my life that all my close friends had horrible first impressions. It was may be because of my father that I did not let their first impressions impair my judgement of them.

8.     “Believe in God but not in fate.”

My father has never ever blamed his fate for anything that has gone wrong in his life. Though he is very religious, he maintains that it is only you who decides what course your life takes. Nobody can ever control your fate.

9.     “This too shall pass.”

My father taught me never to surrender to the stalling tactics of life. No matter how bad the situation was he always said the above line which gave us glimmer of hope.

10. Besides his lovely quotations, one thing that has penetrated my personality just by observing my dad is his willingness to work. Never in my life have I seen him complain for an overload of work. He hardly every sits idle. Even on Sundays he would find himself some work and keep himself busy in it. He loves organizing things and this inherited quality in me has helped me a lot during my college days.

Dissecting a Father's brain

“You know what’s a nightmare to a father-expressing love!!! Ask them for angry looks and their trademark you-will-be-screwed-if-you-do-not-listen-to-me expression....you will get them galore, but ask them to tell how much they love their daughters and sons or as a matter of fact any living being, i bet they would stammer or even you may witness blushing if you ask about the right person ;) .” not my words, these are the words spoken by the great, his highness “BUBBLY”(i wish i could have written the original name!!). A guy with the feminine name which is the result of the emotional outbursts he has every now and then. And this is how i thought of dissecting a father’s brain, metaphorically of course!!

If history suggests anything then fathers are essentially the chief bread-earner of the family and with that cometh the great power of being the lynchpin of the family. And as everyone is aware that “with great power comes great responsibility”.. the father is at the helm of all the affairs of the family. Any geek with party shoes would tell you this!! What though is admirable is a father’s quality to carry out that responsibility with such ease that no one around him even gets a hint of the turmoil he goes through. It is that particular quality which makes him the “father”.

Not that every guy is born to behave as a father, they are simply moulded into one. Mostly by looking up to their own parents guys simply follow the apply-what-you-experience method. The point of talking however is the time when a normal guy transforms himself into a father figure. Just like the hot iron is made into a tool by applying pressure on it, guys become fathers by the pressure society applies to them after marriage. We live in an age where we very often talk about the society norms and rules regarding a girl. Well, there are some for the men too (if you are respectable enough to follow them).

If you are a married man then you are expected not to behave as a guy....that is not to behave like you have in all your past years!!! That is a hell of a change, i tell you!! You need to be disciplined, respected, endearing and blah blah blah!! Your wings are more or less clipped by the society. Suddenly you find yourself responsible for a woman and a child( or children) in a few years. You take all the tough financial decisions when all you previously did was to earn and spend it on your luxuries. You are required to find the best education for your children and may be the best beauty parlour for your lady!!

Fathers have an uncanny ability to show themselves as devoid of any motherly emotions such as love and care. Well, they are not emotionally devoid ; they are just the people who learn not to let emotions affect their decisions and judgements for they know the true impact of a decision on a family. A house needs someone to look up to. It needs someone on whom they can rely at all times. It needs someone who will be their “man of steel” in the hour of need. It needs someone who does not break when something drastic happens. It needs to respect someone who is wise enough to show them the direction. It needs someone trustworthy to believe that the path he shows is not wrong. A house needs a father and that is what a father does.

A mother’s love may cross the metaphorical “seven seas” for her child, but it is the father who pays for the trip. A mother’s love may have the power to convince her child to fight with a disease, but it’s the father who provides him with the treatment. A mother flinches when he sees her child injured, but a father never does that because he has to be the epitome of strength. Not that i am taking any sides, but one seldom sees the roles fathers play. Man sacrifices many a things to become the father he is expected to be.

On this Father’s day let’s respect what our fathers have done for us all these years. From completing our dreadful school projects to attending out numerous PTA meeting to giving us the best of everything..... they deserve every bit of attention and love. Happy Father’s Day.   J