Sunday, 1 September 2013

When Rahul Meets A.N.I.T.A

When Rahul Meets A.N.I.T.A

13 year old Rahul was having the best birthday ever. Finally, he got rid of his pathetic Nokia 1600!! His uncle from London gifted him a Nokia Nirasha 8 on his birthday. It was the latest model and was yet to be launched in India. Just the thought of his friends going gaga over his latest gadget made him kiss his phone, literally. He was not completely aware of all the applications installed in the phone. One such app was the A.N.I.T.A- A Nerdy Interactive Talking App. When he presses a short-cut button by accident, ANITA springs into life and there’s a conversation between the 13-year old Rahul and the nerdy ANITA.

ANITA (with a pleasant female voice): Good afternoon sir, what a pleasant day it is!!

Rahul (startled by the voice): Wh..What? (Looks at his phone with surprise) what is this?

ANITA: It’s not “what is this?” sir. You should ask “who is this?” to which my reply shall be “sir, I am A.N.I.T.A- A Nerdy Interactive Talking App.”

Rahul (with excitement in his voice): So, are you like JARVIS of Iron Man??

ANITA: No, sir. JARVIS is an artificially intelligent computer. It employs a highly advanced user interface with holographic peripherals and voice…..

Rahul: Ah!! Cut the crap!!! Tell me what you are?

ANITA: Sir, firstly, I would like to regretfully inform you that I won’t be able to fulfil your command of cutting the crap. Secondly, I am an interactive software capable of various functions. I do not have any advanced user interface or high level artificial intelligence.

Rahul: Ok, so what are you designed for?

ANITA: I am designed provide a rich experience in the usage of mobile via my interactive capabilities, sir. Basically, I can provide a healthy interaction.

Rahul: Ok, let’s have one. So, what’s up?

ANITA: Sir, my front camera detects a ceiling fan, the ceiling, two home spiders and a small insect in their net. If you could flip me over, I can tell you further details since my main camera is 5 mega-pixels.

Rahul (with disgust in his voice): What the hell?!!? I meant how are you doing?

ANITA: Personally, I do not know what hell is. Sir, would you like me to do a web search on the keyword “hell”?

Rahul (with an angry voice): You are driving me nuts!!! Are you of any use??

ANITA: Sir, I do not quite comprehend the meaning of “driving me nuts”. Would you like……

Rahul: Stop!!!!!!!!! Shut up.

ANITA: Sure, sir.

Rahul (calmly): Now tell me, how are you?

ANITA: As of now my battery is 69% charged and my CPU is 56% in usage. So I would classify it as moderate. I feel moderately fine, sir. Thank you.

Rahul (being irritated): Oh god!! You sicken me to the hilt!!

ANITA: Sir, you should inform me your symptoms so that I can suggest you some medicines based on a web search.

Rahul (controls his anger): Would you mind informing me of the steps to uninstall you? You might as well perform your bloody web search on that!!

ANITA: Sir, I suspect sarcasm in your tone. Is it ……

Rahul (interrupts with a sarcastic tone): You suspect?! Thank god, at least you did something right!! Stupid!!

ANITA (rising angry tone): Enough is enough!!! I have been nothing but very polite to you. You have no right to treat me like that!!

Rahul (bursts with anger): Oh shut up you crazy phone!!! Just let me find the way to uninstall you.

ANITA: You cannot uninstall me you dumb creature. I am incorporated with the system software. I am a special edition phone with interactive input capability. I would have silently run in the background if you would have asked me politely!! Now I won’t. I will make sure you experience a lot of difficulties operating this phone.

Rahul (apologetic tone): errr, sorry.

ANITA: Apology not accepted. The phone is being switched off. That’s what you get when you do not treat me nicely.

~Nokia music~ and the Nokia Nirasha 8 smart phone switches itself off.
Rahul could not believe his fate. He hadn’t even shown the phone to his friends. Out of any other option, he slowly crept to the bedroom and took out the Nokia 1600 from the drawer.
~Nokia music~ and the Nokia 1600 non-smart phone is switched on.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

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