indian railways:har safar me magic!!

As the train left the station, me and my friends after a hectic 3-day visit to berhampur began settling down at the topmost tier........the compartment was brimming with people of all classes......and since it was late night nobody cared making any remarks as generally happens in a train. Just when i was about to close my eyes to a dream of lullaby i was pulled back to life by a gentleman with a loudspeaker-like voice.....he was probably in mid-40s with ruffled hair and a white shirt dipped in brown dust......he was literally shouting-“mui enu basithili”(sambalpuri)........to which the man sitting on the seat was not responding.......he once again shouted at the top of his voice which probably made the man notice him this time.......he looked at the man in white shirt and gave him a puzzled look and said-“mousa kana hela??”...........

so, there i was sitting in a train where two parts of odisha were trying to communicate over the matter of seat occupancy. Since i happen to know a bit of sambalpuri-accent(thanks to my sambalpuri friends at hostel) i stepped in and did the needful. Soon the thunderous uncle melted down and to my surprise mr.sambalpuri and mr.cuttacki were having a fruitful discussion over family matters in not-so-fluent hindi.

after some time the train stopped at some station (i was too lazy to come down and look at what station it was) and there boarded another gentleman. He took his seat by the side of mr.sambalpuri and asked mr.cuttacki “agyan kuuade parjanta jiba ki he??” .....its not possible to describe the accent over here but it invited puzzled looks from both the uncles sitting there.

so here was a certain mr.berhampuri who was on board with mr.sambalpuri and mr.cuttacki.  Mr.cuttacki initiated a hindi conversation with mr.berhampuri and soon all three of them were having a gala time in their not-so-perfect hindi just like they have met again after ages.

We all would have heard and most certainly read about how Indian railways has played the role of unification of india in our history classes. We would even have observed how different states and cities exist symbiotically for a small time in the Indian railways. But what i was witnessing was the micro-mini version of that unification. Every state has some divides......may be on the basis of accents, or dialects, or style of living etc etc......and the state railways was coercing the amalgamation of the divides. The three uncles may not become the best of friends but they did prove one thing.......we may classify ourselves into a hundred categories.....”fir bhi dil hai Hindustani!!”(or in this case “odishi”)

guide to a girl's vocabulary

A physicist can certainly simplify the theory of parallel universe or the theory of relativity for you......a biologist can certainly explain the complex mechanisms of a biological creature to you.......an economics teacher can of course state an intriguing problem of the diabolic economics system in an easy-to-understand way.....but.......none....i repeat....none can ever explain, make easy-to-understand, state, simplify, account, describe, report, distinguish or decipher what goes on in a girl’s ‘emotionally brainiac’ mind!!!

They want a thing, they think the other, they say something else, and they mean none!! Oh yea......welcome to a girl’s mind.....where 2+2 may be 232435423455644534.....(you never know)!! Well, the poor man is many a times the prey of the feigned vocabulary of women. So in this times of great difficulty where global warming is threatening to wipe out the whole human race, where the arms race is blinding the greater notions of sociology in humans, where sheela is getting ”jawan” and munni is getting “badnaam” (sorry chameli.....i decided to go with the originals!!).....the ‘man’kind certainly needs a “girl’s dictionary”-

1-ok.......bye....-if that is said in a falling tone over the phone and your bad luck decides to act such devil as to disconnect the call at that time....then dude, YOU ARE S.C.R.E.W.E.D!! When a girl says so in a sad voice she means-“talk to me damn it else i am gonna kill you!!”.

2-nayyyy.....it was my fault- and if you ever agree to it what you face next shall be worse than the atom bomb dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Never ever agree that it was her fault......what she actually means is-“you better apologise fast !!”

3-how do i look??- Your only option is to declare that even if Cinderella would have existed, she would have beaten her to the title of miss universe. She does ask for an opinion but she takes only one answer. If you want to be doomed then you may take the risk of vying your other options. Best of luckJ

4-we are just friends- it’s almost an age-old saying!! The Bollywood has repeatedly proved this fact deceptive. Starting from the yesteryear movies like “kuch kuch hota hai” to the recent movie “jane tu ya jane naa” to the even recent movie “mujhse fraandship karoge”.....this genre of Bollywood has sternly established the fact that-‘a guy and a girl can never be the best of friends’. So, next time you happen to hear it from a girl......take your chances....

5-so what’s the big deal??- you may have faced an accident and it may not be a big deal.......but even if a girl has only just witnessed an accident and she says it was a big deal then DO NOT oppose her......you would entitle yourself for another horrible accident if you do so!!

6-i just want sometime alone- nope!! She wants you to be with her till she cries her heart out. Girls may be cunning in manipulation but have hearts of 24 carat gold when it comes to dealing with the ones they love. They would never admit that they need you to be there.....you gotta catch the signs....and just be there for your friend J

7-i don’t have a boyfriend- it’s still a mystery as to why a girl generally refuses ‘possessing’ a boyfriend even when she has one. While many girls may disagree.....but that’s the guy verdict i took on this(i personally asked nearly 50 boys!!)

Well, now you have a perfect idea of what to think and what not to do when next time a girl utters any of these phrases.......girls indeed are funny creatures. If you come across any such ”curious case of a girl’s vocabulary” take it as your solemnised duty to share it for the betterment of the ‘man’kind...!!!!

A VISIT TO YOUR PAST

One fine day sit on the roof with no one except moon and the stars accompanying you......feel the silence and think about yourself.....how you were in your past. The best and worst thing about past is it is the reason of our present. It is the choices and decisions we made then that we are like this now. Now think how you were in the past and how are you now......and you know what would be the most common reaction after the session??....it would be-“OMG, i was such an idiot back then!!”......yes......that, my friend, would be the reaction of an average human being.......if that’s not your reaction then i am sure you are extraordinary (no offence!!). We keep evolving with the times.....we mature with our experience. Now the reason for that stupid reaction is that now we are more mature than we were in our past. That’s why we were “idiots” back then but are normal right now. A bit later in future we would term this phase as our “idiot” phase and we would have become normal then...... Truth is we never actually get over our idiot phase......we were and will always remain idiots. When i think about myself 4-5 years back i think “shiiiiii, i was such a dumbass.......i had horrible dressing sense......i never took care of how i looked......always flashed my gums.....yuck!!!!”.....not that now i am an enigmatic persona.....but i have developed what is called a decent personality......though i haven’t developed much in the dressing sense part (my sister still thinks i have a horrible dressing sense!!)....so the point is.......we will never be perfect for ourselves....those who become perfect live in a myth.

P.S.-all the personal part in the post is partly imaginary......it is not to be taken seriously.....;)

(1.i was never a dumbass

2.i never flashed my gums!!!!)

i am a student....

Its 3 o clock,

And i cant get to sleep,

As i walk the block,

I have appointments to keep,

Not that i am a biz-whiz,

Not that i am a crusader,

Not that i have a mistress to kiss,

Not that i am a peacemaker,

But i am a student......

I have appointments with my books,

Yearning for my attention,

Long deprived of which,

Are kept in the shelves for an eternal,

And now that the exams have invaded,

I have to guard against them,

The books are my soldiers,

But i need to muster them.

Oh demon examination,

I admit i am terror stricken,

Thou subjects are scary,

with the weightage they carry,

but i am no chicken,

i have my armour sharpened,

i will hail thou thundering storm,

i will win my credits,

i will battle thou feisty form,

i will push my limits.

I swear to god,

At the end of the war,

I will emerge as winner,

With a performance a par .

The battle would end,

But not the fight,

I know you will b back,

And i will wait for you,

Once again to defeat .

You would seek redemption,

But i am here to deny,

You would return to action,

I m gonna kick you good bye.

the great indian joint family

I have recently been to my brother’s marriage......and in all the chaos i noticed the working of the great institution of marriage in binding another great institution of the Indian culture-the family. It is very often said that marriage is the unison of two souls.....marriage is also about getting together of two separate families. However, i would like to point out about how marriage brings one “long-lost” family together. My parents flew from lucknow.....my cousin brother flew from haridwar......my cousin sister came from Raipur......it was like a family reunion. How often do we get to see all this in the age of nuclear family?? Having brought up in a nuclear family i witnessed as to why the joint families were so preferred back then. It’s fun 24x7!!! To be around your bros, sis, parents, uncles, aunts, siblings all at once. Yes, there are many more things living in a joint family on a regular basis......there is lack of privacy, not enough personal space etc etc. With times we all have evolved as independent beings....maybe that’s why we prefer nuclear family unlike our previous generations. Whatever it is, being a part of a joint family once in a while is really fun.......enjoyed to the hilt.....:)

The JOURNEY.....

The other day i was watching the English television series “how i met your mother”....and the protagonist was having problems with his plans about life. He had planned a super successful life along with a family life but clearly he was struggling with both. That’s when he was made understood that in life the end points do not matter as much as the journey does......which is true indeed. How many times has it happened that we spent hours planning something and that event turns out some other way?? it has happened to me many many times.....in fact it almost happens every time to me. My roomie says “mere life me maine aj tak jo bhi plan kiya hai wo kabhi nai hua hai.”

Well, many a times we all know what those end points of the journey are going to be but still we fail to enjoy the journey because we try to reach the end of the expedition without going through the adventures and the fallouts. Once the voyage is set in motion it is bound to end somewhere.....but what we completely do not notice is that we are far too much focussed on the outcome than the things that lead us to the end.  We miss the little joys in the journey. It’s actually a very simple concept......sample this.....after four years of college when we would be reminiscing our college life we would not recall how perfectly we studied or how perfectly we obeyed our teachers......but we would fondly remember any case of us breaking rules and regulations and facing the consequences. We all want our life to be perfect....but believe me perfect is very boring......it’s like we know what’s gonna happen next.....it takes all the suspense out of the future. It’s the disorder in life that makes it exciting and worth remembering.

Enjoy the trek in your life....even if you slip....ultimately you will scale the peak.....and when you reach there you would only be remembering the slips.....the true journey.

Public Display of Affection.....a juvenile crime??

The new generation has outgrown the older ones in many fields......many desirable and many undesirable.....and many questionable. One of them is the Public Display of Affection a.k.a PDA........does this ring a bell in your mind?? How many times have you kissed your girlfriend sitting on the park’s bench?? How many times have you held her hands in your hands and walked down a public place inviting weird looks??  If yes, then you have qualified for a so-called juvenile crime called PDA. Only yesterday i found myself in such a situation where i was walking down a lane with a girl and i noticed whoever was passing by us were stealing a glance as if we were committing a crime....!! i was neither kissing her nor was i holding her hands.....yet i was made feel as if i was doing something wrong. That’s when i thought to write this.

Our generation has everything heightened about them. When they are happy they party as hard as possible, when they are sad they go into depression very easily.....we seldom plan our future as our parents did....we are more of living in the present and enjoying it to the fullest. So, even when it comes to emotions they are too huge to be hidden even in the public......so that’s why PDA!!

Mind you, i am not advocating PDA......all i want to say is it’s not bad and is certainly not an act of offence. It can be over the line sometimes.......but maximum times it is blown out of proportion. PDA is good enough when it is done within limits. It is just awkward in the Indian culture to witness a PDA . And to all those for whom its awkward to witness a pda......the western culture becomes the easy target!! Why everyone does have to point out western culture for anything that is “out of culture”?? if we like western culture then there’s a reason to it also....why can’t people appreciate the good points in it and try to avoid the bad ones?? Nothing in this world is perfect....and so is culture.

PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION is no evil....if there is an evil at all then it’s in our heads that is making us believe that a harmless display of emotions threatens our centuries old bona fide culture.